Sunday, May 21, 2006

Yori Yanover Denies Engaging in BDSM

"BDSM" are the initials for bondage-domination-sadism-masochism continuum of power-play games.

Dear Luke,

In the past, when you presented some bizarre notes about a guy using my name to rile up demonstrators against the WTO in Seattle, you wondered why I hadn't protested this misuse of my name, insinuating that by not doing that at the time, I must accept the fallout (there was none, but that's a different story).

Although this logic is reminiscent of the opening chapters of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, where an alien ship destroys the earth to make room for an intergalactic highway, telling the inhabitants they had ample time to contest the move in an office only a few light-years away, there was probably some practical wisdom in what you wrote.

Indeed, I've made it my habit to google myself at least once a week, just to stay on top of things. And what I don't find myself, I get by email. Like the email I received late Friday afternoon from a close friend: “Jewish Survivors is claiming now that you do BDSM games with all your friends -- and you don't invite us?!?!?!?”

I sighed, looked at my watch and went to my already closed Mozilla again, to discover the following sweet note on Jewish Survivors of Sexual Violence Speak Out: “I can't stop asking myself if Yori Yanover is also into BDSM like his friends? Let's not forget to mention his buddy Rabbi David Lipman who is a convicted child molester. I'm trying to remember if he's also friends with convicted sex offender, Kabbalah Coach - Rabbi Michael Ozair too?

“Luke Ford's been writing about it all week on his blog.”

I scanned up and down your blog and couldn’t find any mention of my name. Perhaps you did write about my taste for rough stuff and it escaped me. You’re welcome to set me straight.

Now, lest the scourge of Seattle repeat itself, I must stand in the city square -- your blog -- and proclaim that I never engaged in BDSM (which, not surprisingly, does not stand for Beis Din Shliach Mitzvah), nor is BDSM in any other way part of my erotic menu. I do not condemn consenting adults who enjoy it, I simply do not find it appealing in the least. It is sad that one’s reputation can be trashed so easily, but such is life.

One must wonder, however, what was the basis for that "casual" remark? I am not a public servant in any way. I am a private businessman and an author. I do not have employees nor students. I am not a rabbi. I was never accused by anyone of any sexual or other misconduct. Why, then, can an anonymous website make dark innuendos about me and get away with it, merely because they took care to add a question mark at the end of the nasty remark?

I’ll tell you why: Because I exposed Vicki Polin’s appearance on Oprah, where she “confessed” her ties to a satanic Jewish cult, baby-munching and all. I deprived her of credibility in a way she can never restore. And when the tape of that appearance, currently in the hands of one of her victims, will make it to the web, as it will, eventually, she will remain bereft of parnosah. This is why she hates me so much, and "can't stop thinking" about me. This is why she considers it par for the course to assault my reputation, even though I meet none of her definitions for people she normally torments. I’m the guy who proved she’s crazy.

So, anyway, the record is set straight again, I do not now, nor have I ever before engaged in BDSM. I welcome future inquiries regarding my bedroom habits, although I may be forced to charge a small fee.

Yori Yanover

2 Comments:

Blogger Reb Yudel said...

It has been very interesting this week to see the inherent anti-sex agenda of various bloggers begin to surface.

"Survivor" invents rumors of BDSM involving Gafni, seemingly out of thin air. Presumably, the connection is that she doesn't like Gafni, and she doesn't like BDSM.

And Steven I Weiss, who foisted JWB and Luke Ford on the blogging world, finally reveals why Protocols couldn't play host to a grown-up conversation on sex and Judaism. He out-and-out conflates a gay guy making a pass to child molestation and rape.

Here's the truth: Steven Weiss, like the JWB morality goons, are as scared of sex as is Ismar Schorch. There's no sexual desire which motivates them to say, hmmm, that's not my speed, but it's interesting; it's a part of the human experience I'm not familiar with, but am willing to learn about and discuss.

Ultimately, the literary character known as "Luke Ford" plays a similar game, ogling the ladies but maintaining a strict pretense of "I'm saving myself for marriage."

It's all a shame. The Jewish community very badly needs an open discussion about the interface between halacha and sexuality; given the Conservative Movement's staunch refusal to confront the topic, the blogosphere seemed to offer an opportunity to begin thrashing it out. Instead, we have the same tabloid trash, combining prudery and prurience in a very vile dish.

2:25 PM, May 21, 2006  
Blogger Yori Yanover said...

Larry,

I think the hunan race needs all the good things you've wished for the Jewsih community, but sexual ambivalence is part of our Human Condition. I think the reason, for instance, that I happen to believe that our sages and, before them, our prophets, were less screwed up about their sex has to do with our distance, which romanticizes them and their Greek neighbors. Let's face it, we're all full of anxiety about our sexuality. It's the way God wants it -- and what God wants, she gets.

4:50 PM, May 21, 2006  

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